The Graded Tute

At 10:55 am, Amy was the first person to reach room E218 of the Menzies Building. She knocked on the door, and nobody answered, so she opened it and walked in. Amy wanted to be sitting alone in the room when the tutor arrived, so that she would give the best impression; it was going to be a graded tute.  But before it closed behind her, the door was caught by Joseph, who held it open for his friend Callum. Amy saw everyone in her classes as either a stepping stone or a hurdle on the grading “Bell-Curve”. As far as Amy was concerned, Joseph was just a stepping stone, so she smiled at him. But when Amy saw that Callum was in the tute, her cat-smile screwed up like a tissue on a bush-fire. Callum was a hurdle on the bell curve.

The tutor walked in. She was a dolled up soccer-mom type. She didn’t look friendly. Amy shot up

“Hi, I’m Amy!”

Amy’s hair and makeup hadn’t changed for years; she kept it as it was in her University photo, so that the Tutors could recognise her when they did their marking.

“Hello Amy, I am Mrs. Langer” Said the tutor

Amy lit up and cat-smiled at Callum. Callum was busy texting the answers for a Science Prac to his friend.

Another ten students arrived before the Tutor began – this is how the tute went:

Mrs. Langer (tutor): Now, welcome to Criminal Law tutorials. I am Sandra Langer. Students, this is a graded tute, so I will be judging your thinking speed and your intellect. Lets begin with non sexual assaults. Ok, you *The tutor pointed at Joseph* What is the definition of a crime?

Joseph: um... I... is it... a wrong that people think should be punished?

Mrs. Langer: Not a very good definition *The tutor wrote something on her class sheet*

Callum: Sorry, could you please give us a good “definition of a crime”, Mrs. Langer?

*Mrs. Langer looked at Callum shaking her head in silence as she wrote something more on her paper*

Callum: no?

 Amy: A crime is an intended or careless wrong punishable by the criminal justice system

Mrs. Langer: Excellent Amy! 20 points! Ok the next question is... Callum you tell me, what is the next question that we have to ask?

Callum: the next question?

*Amy and Mrs. Langer shook their heads at Callum*

Callum: What!? Why are you... you’re the tutor, aren’t you meant to be helping us to learn these things?

Mrs. Langer: Don’t know the answer Callum? Well, its your grades I suppose

Callum: Don’t speak to us like that

Mrs Langer: I’m sorry Callum?

Callum: You don’t have any grounds from which to condescend when you are being so condescending.  If you value “reading speed” and “mental gymnastics” above being a good person, you are unintelligent Mrs. Langer.

Mrs. Langer: Well, I just hope that you weren’t planning on being hired by a law firm one day, Callum.

Amy: *chuckles*

Callum: How is your life Mrs. Langer?

Mrs. Langer: come on, lets move on

Callum: Yeah I thought so. Well, hey, I bet you got some excellent grades at uni.

The end
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p.s. While this is based on a true-story, its not an accurate characterisation of most graded tutes (which are generally happy and hunkydory)

pps. These are two great photos that my friends took of melbourne. They're actually entered in a competition, so you can vote for them, but even if you don't vote for them they are just worth havng a look at.

http://www.loveitup.com.au/australiasmostlovedcity/?iid=15751&source=fb_share#/Vote/15751

http://www.loveitup.com.au/australiasmostlovedcity/#/Vote/15500