Office Worker is Reincarnation of Ghandi

(On being passive in the modern world)

An AAMI Customer Service Officer, Jack Chao, has come forward as the third reincarnation of Ghandi’s soul. Before going public at the age of 36, Jack had never told anybody about his past life, other than his parents, with whom he still lives. Chao’s closest friend and senior-colleague, Callum Hanley, was not entirely surprised about the revelation:

“Well, mate, I guess its news because, mate its Ghandi. And Ghandi was a really good bloke. It does make sense though, because Jack’s soft. Jack’s a pretty nice guy too, but you can practically do anything to him. Yesterday, I borrowed his supervisor's pen and, when i lost it, I told the supervisor that Jack stole it. But he's a nice guy.”

Jack’s supervisor, Mary, is an ex-spokeswoman for the One Nation Party. When asked whether Jack’s news came as a shock, she said

“Chao-Chao is no Ghandi. He stole my pen yesterday. And he’s always stealing my pens, and whenever something wrong happens around here, its bloody Ching-Chao Jack. You know, Chao-Chao may aswell be Ghandi, what's the difference? And i’m not the one levelling the generalisations about Asians. They’re the ones serving them up.”

When we went to meet Jack at his house, we asked whether he was upset when Callum lied about the lost pen. Jack said

“Oh you met Callum? He’s a really good person. Yeah, the pen was a worry, because I have to keep my job really. But it’s just his sense of fun... I think it is harder being Ghandi in the 21st century though. I mean, in a war, passivism worked, or atleast it was appreciated, because you were on a stage, and people could see what was happening. Its weird, but its actually harder for me to stop the modern bully than to stop an oppressive regime.”

When asked whether he thought that passivism could change people like Callum or Mary, Jack answered

“Well, maybe. In theory yes, for sure, because nasty behaviour cant show-up any better than it does on a submissive abusee. But sometimes you can record someone cheating you from 30 different angles, show it to them, and they’d do it again. Usually they know exactly what they are doing, and I think that its just in their nature to treat people badly. And that’s one thing that does make it better for me actually, as a passivist.”

When asked what he meant by that, Jack said

“Well a few years ago I went to Queensland with my parents, for a holiday. And when I went swimming, I was attacked by a crocodile. My dad jumped in and hit the thing with a stick until it let me go, and then I was flown to Brisbane Hospital. I didn’t think twice about where the Crocodile was then, or even about which crocodile it was. I mean I didn’t think of it as an individual. In my mind, I had been attacked by a species. So, when the officers caught the croc and asked me whether I wanted it to be exterminated or put in a farm... I don’t know, I didn't want either. It was a crocodile, and it couldn’t help itself.”  

Ghandi believed in karma. Since our interview with Jack, Callum should have been mistakenly deported to Tunisia by immigration authorities, and Mary should have hesitantly offered Jack a promotion into Callum’s position, expecting Jack to be overwhelmed. But Jack would have declined having received a multi-million dollar biography contract.